van halen’s fault

now playing: shame, “turn you on”ok, i know it’s probably old news, but nonetheless, it appears that debra lafave has struck a plea – which may mean something to those of you who follow the news more closely than i do, but today was the first i’d heard about this case….to summarize, this 25 year old teacher was apparently having sex with a 14 year old boy – a lot in a short time, as a matter of fact. something like 3 times in 4 days…it’s all in the story. go look.

i don’t know what people are saying about this, because it hasn’t really come up around the watercooler here, if you know what i mean….but my immediate reaction can’t be that far from what most other guys i know would be. which is to say, take a look at this woman for a minute:


my immediate thought was, “where the hell were the teachers that looked like that when I was 14?”

seriously – she’s HOT! i mean, who is it exactly that complained about this? if a normal 14 year old boy came forward and said to someone, “listen, i’ve got a serious problem, man…i’m banging my incredibly hot teacher whos’ ten years older than i am…and i’m not sure what to do. should i tell my parents or go to the police?” – i mean, can you really even visualize that? 3 times in 4 days…most teenage boys masturbate more often than that, fer chrissake!

now, granted, just because she looks like that doesn’t mean she’s necessarily got any, uh, skills….but let’s say that she’s at least passable, for the sake of argument. i mean, i knew a bartender once who insisted that there’s absolutely no such thing as bad sex…and at 14, i’d be inclined to think that even if that’s not true, that you wouldn’t have had enough sex at that point in your life to know the difference. either way, this kid definitely has stories to tell that none of his friends will be able to top.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that this is all van halen’s fault. if they hadn’t made that indecent video all those years ago, this concept wouldn’t even have occured to any of us.

did i mention that she’s HOT?

editors’ note: just to make sure we’re clear on this – the subject of “what if the genders were reversed and my daughter were having sex with her 25 year old male teacher” is not open for discussion at this juncture. this is a purely incredulous male ponderance, and was never meant to be politically correct.

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