now playing: sarah mclachlan, “fallen”


so dylan is resting at home – he slept a good chunk of the afternoon after having a pretty shitty night last night in the hospital. he woke up a couple of times feeling as though he was choking, and i think it freaked him out a little bit.

earlier in the night, he was still feeling the effects of his pain medication. the stuff they gave him had vicodin in it…and when they said the word “vicodin”, he grabbed his sheet and pulled it up over his crotch and croaked, “that’s not like viagra, is it?”

then later on that night, the nurse came in to check his temperature with one of those wonderful, high-tech thermometers that fits just inside your earlobe. after she retracted it from his ear once it had emitted its customary three beeps, dylan looked at her and asked, “how much do i weigh?”

when his sister asked him at one point how he was feeling, he said, “that stuff really takes the edge off….”

he’s such a goofball.

i don’t know where he gets such behavior….certainly not from his father, who was pulling latex gloves over his head and blowing them up from the inside.

he seemed much more laconic this morning than yesterday, though – after all the effects of the anesthesia had worn off, he was starting to feel stuff through the pain medication he’d been put on after the fact. he seldom made any attempts to speak this morning, and restricted himself to nods and shakes of the head, with a few exceptions. he was sooo eager, though, after the doctor having said last night that he could have actual food today, to get something to eat when we left the hospital. i took him straight from the hospital to the drive thru window at KFC and got him a large takeout order of their mashed potatoes, which he loves…once we got home and i got him situated on the sofa, he ate a pretty large bowl of them and didn’t complain once about whatever sensation swallowing might’ve given off.

i’m glad i was there….glad i was there yesterday before he went in, and glad i was there today to spend the morning with him after his crappy night, glad i was able to take him home and hang on the sofa with him, watching tv while he drifted in and out of sleep after he ate.

i’m not sure why it is, really…that i’ve come to find parenting to be more rewarding as my kids have gotten older. the only real reason i can point to is my own level of maturity (or more accurately, the lack of such when they were younger). or maybe it was just that i didn’t really have the grasp on it then that i do now. maybe it took their mom and i splitting up to drive the point home for me. i’m feeling like i might’ve talked about this here before, i can’t remember. i just know that while i enjoyed my role in their lives when we were all a ‘unit’, i think that my general unhappiness with my marital situation overshadowed everything else enough that it dampered my appreciation for my overall situation. or, my marriage sucked just enough to keep me from realizing just how special those early years with my kids really were.

i’m glad that i’m in a place where this has changed considerably, and where i can still participate in their lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s