Posted in yesterday. today. tomorrow.

pre-violated

now playing: david wilcox, “you were going somewhere”

there are days when you just trip over the absolute funniest stuff…this was part of a journal here, and i just had to bring it over and share it. these really are priceless.

sometimes you get on a roll and they just don’t stop coming…like those conversations you have with friends every so often where neither of you can stop laughing, and everything one says just makes the other laugh harder.

glad this guy managed to save these for publication.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The following is a transcript of an IM conversation between a friend & I that started out normally enough, with us bitching about euphamisms in the English language, but soon degenerated into us trying to outdo each other in coming up with ridiculous fake hyphenated words. Some of them were priceless, so they are recorded here, in context, for posterity.

____________________________________________________________
Tidge314 says:

hey

Tidge314 says:

hey

Tidge314 says:

dammit

Wrongwinded says:

what

Tidge314 says:

what r u doin

Wrongwinded says:

on phone hang on

Tidge314 says:

you goin to game tonite>?

Wrongwinded says:

no game

Wrongwinded says:

i think im going camping this weekend

Tidge314 says:

why you not goin to game?

Tidge314 says:

you gotta go, its my first hockey game, fool

Wrongwinded says:

im workin here. you wanna go campin?

Tidge314 says:

Where?

Wrongwinded says:

with the Jones street boys, out at the cabin

Tidge314 says:

Ill see wut i can do

Wrongwinded says:

ill see what I can do…feh

Tidge314 says:

who you feh’ing?

Tidge314:

I’ll bah you…

Wrongwinded says:

I hate that phrase. what the hell does that mean anyway. You know what the hell you can do, so just say what youre gonna do.

Tidge314 says:

ok fine im not goin camping

Wrongwinded says:

thank you.

Tidge314 says:

waht happened to you today?

Wrongwinded says:

somebody said ‘proactive’ to me at the studio. i hate that word, it’s a damn made-up word. Why is ‘active’ not sufficient?

Tidge314 says:

totally sufficient

Wrongwinded says:

one can be active or inactive; nothing in betwween.

Tidge314 says:

I’m down. are you sure made-up is hyphenated?

Wrongwinded says:

you just hyphenated it

Tidge314 says:

damn you

Wrongwinded says:

i’ll show you hyphenated

Wrongwinded says:

you’re euphamism-happy

Tidge314 says:

you’re turtle-scented

Wrongwinded says:

youre sphincter-riffic!

Tidge314 says:

Youre snack-oriented

Wrongwinded says:

Shatner-proof

Tidge314 says:

prison-trained

Wrongwinded says:

Carnival-ready

Tidge314 says:

anal-friendly

Wrongwinded says:

pre-violated

Tidge314 says:

jock-loosened

Wrongwinded says:

prawn-tastic

Tidge314 says:

taint-basted

Wrongwinded says:

Brokaw-approved

Tidge314 says:

spam-related

Wrongwinded says:

weasel-resistant

Tidge314 says:

home-bloodied

Wrongwinded says:

Oprah-free

Tidge314 says:

Roker-sized

Wrongwinded says:

mull-whitened

Tidge314 says:

jew-ready

Wrongwinded says:

Danson-assisted

Tidge314 says:

ocularly-injected

Wrongwinded says:

pants-laden

Tidge314 says:

nazi-sponsored

Wrongwinded says:

these are beautiful. I gotta make it look like Im working.

Tidge314 says:

fine. Sure youre not coming to the game? we got the box…

Wrongwinded says:

nah, Im out.

Tidge314 says:

alright. later.

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Author:

tom is a personally and politically malcontent musician, songwriter, sideman and session cat living in East Nashville, Tennessee.

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