curse of the illogical hunch

now playing: pure prairie league, “boulder skies”


it’s only ever happened to me a couple of times…but every time it’s happened to me, i’ve been right about it.

every now and again, you get a hunch – a hunch that’s predicated with absolutely no basis in terms of concrete evidence, that just doesn’t jive with logic or reason…but yet it just won’t go away.

i’m usually not a suspicious person by nature, and i usually try to judge people on their merits without letting my cynicism interfere and cast shadows where plenty of light exists.

but lately, there’s something amiss…and it feels (in my head, anyway), like it’s past the realm of suspicion. i just know it. and, yet – i have no evidence whatsover to support why i would believe it so strongly.

as i said, i’ve been visited with a similar intuition a couple of other times in my life, and both times they proved to be dead on. one of those times, i was certain that a co-worker that i was rather fond of as a buddy was off the wagon and was using drugs again when he insisted he wasn’t, and i had no real proof that he was, but i knew it to the case…whether i could prove it or not.

the other time was when my grandfather became sick, ultimately to die of colon cancer. i knew that something was seriously wrong before anyone else in the family did. i don’t know if he even knew it, but i knew he wasn’t the man i knew him to be.

i was right in that situation, too. i didn’t want to be, but i was.

i don’t really want to be right about this, either…but something tells me i might be.

i have a suspicious nature at times – it’s not something that i allow to the surface often, because it’s destructive and (to use a friends’ phrase) it creates boogeymen where there are none. but the thing is, even when this kind of thing does surface for me, it usually manifests itself in the same way – the suspicion is created as a result of a tangible action or some other piece of evidence, and i’ll explore it briefly, and either i’ll confront it and deal with it, or i’ll dismiss it beforehand when i come to my senses and realize that it’s just insecurity or something like that raising its ugly head.

oddly, the things that bring this on that have little tangible scraps that i can point to usually prove out as insignificant.

it’s pretty odd that the things that i have no genuine reason to believe tend to be accurate in the end.


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