Posted in yesterday. today. tomorrow.

punishment that fits the…quirk…

 

 

now playing: marty higgins, “california”

 

some days, no one else on the planet is capable of driving fast enough.

right now, in the borough where i live, they’re repairing a bridge that has meant, essentially, that there’s only one real artery in and out of west reading, and that’s penn avenue (which parallels my street and intersects with the bypass).

closing this bridge has meant an unreal increase in the already usually busy traffic on penn avenue…so much so that it literally takes twenty minutes to drive from the wyomissing post office to the bypass exit.

then, upon reaching the bypass, traffic is circled all the way to the overpass, for the simple reason that God has seen fit to allow those with no merging skills to somehow escape the natural selection process…

…for now.

seriously….what is it, exactly, that triggers this thought pattern in people? “gee, traffic is really heavy…but i’ll have a much better chance of getting out into the highway if i come to a complete stop!!

anyway, i finally get onto the bypass and it just seems like no one can be bothered to have an agenda…it’s as if all of berks countys’ bingo population had been furloughed early, for some reason.

everyone needed a double ex-lax mocha latte today, for some reason.

and in the midst of all this, there i am, with the worlds’ greatest driving song blaring from the stereo (“middletown dreams” from rush…”power windows” album, if you’re one who still buys music)….

….and i just can’t get no flow goin’.

i’ve come to the conclusion that not all people are necessarily evil, though…it’s just that some posess very punishable traits. i wouldn’t wish hell upon them, but i think that maybe they deserve to go to a different heaven than the rest of us.

for instance…people who drive big, bloated SUVs in the left lane at 50 mph while practicing complete indifference to those behind them shouldn’t necessarily perish in eternal flame….but maybe they should have to spend eternity with a perpetual case of the shits, standing in a line to get into the only porta-potty in Paradise that never,ever moves.

and the assholes who insist on blaring their awful, awful (i mean, really…inexcusable) taste in music out into the atmosphere for all to bear witness to should go to a heaven where no noise, no matter the source, can be heard above a whisper.

and those who trick their cars out to look like garish christmas ornaments should spend eternity in lancaster countys’ amish community.

and people who forward you the “bill gates is giving you a buck for every person you forward this email to” email should have to spend the afterlife in a place devoid of books, magazines, street signs, comic books…absolutely nothing in print whatsoever, save for one copy of tammy faye bakkers’ autobiography.

you like reading unbelieveable shit over and over again? there ya go!

anyway, i guess i’m gettin’ off topic…you have to know i could go on and on and on with a train of thought like this…

now i must race home to retrieve my daughter, and then race to school, and then try somehow to fit time in afterward to pick up an ailing computer, and then pick wendy up and work at 8pm, and then come back in to do end of day….

…but then again, i knew this week would be like this.

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Author:

tom is a personally and politically malcontent musician, songwriter, sideman and session cat living in East Nashville, Tennessee.

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