the past meets the present

now playing: jimmie spheeris, “i am the mercury”

had two very strange dreams last night/this morning…

the first one involved my old manager, matt asbell, except in the dream he wasn’t matt, he was jon cusack, for some reason. anyway, i was with him and jim boggia, and we were travelling – we ended up in lewistown, pennsylvania, and we were looking for this place i used to play there, called kirby’s, but it had closed and there was an Applebee’s where it used to be – so we got back into my van and went to new york – cuz boggia was playing the mercury lounge. (i’m not sure why i was along on this trip…still tryin’ to figure that out)…anyway, matt and boggia went to the gig and suddenly wendy materialized and we went to some music store in the city, and wendy was impressing the owner with her far above-average knowledge of musical instruments for the typical musicians’ significant other (and when i say this, i mean it…she can tell the difference between a gibson les paul standard and a les paul custom, no matter the colors, just from their appointments….from a distance, even. it’s pretty uncanny – she knows her shit.)

but i digress.

we were walking around this store, i saw a couple of lap steels on the wall that i was looking at pretty closely, and then we left and started walking around town…after that, i don’t really remember anything about that one.

the other one, not long after that, was even stranger.

i dreamed i was at the old house on belvedere avenue that i used to live in when i was married before, and it was dylan’s birthday party. (now, it should be mentioned that dylan and jayda were born exactly 2 years and eleven hours or so apart from each other…so their parties were always the same day. not sure why that didn’t present itself in the dream.)

anyway, he was as he is now for the first part of the dream. my ex-wifes’ parents and siblings were trickling in, and for some reason, dylan got upset and left the room in tears. (i think this might’ve manifested itself in the dream because of something that happened at his moms’ house last night before i picked him up…long story.) anyway, he was gone for a minute or two, and i was sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the living room that we never owned the whole time we lived there…and jill walked over and handed dylan to me, and he was no older than two, maybe. so i sat in the rocking chair and played with my son at two years old for several minutes….his little tufts of blonde hair, his little stubby fingers and hands – we sat together in the rocking chair for the longest time, until the other dylan came walking back into the room at his current age, still upset from whatever had made him angry when he left…he still had the very visible track of a tear running down his left cheek. he came over and sat down on my right knee, with the two year old dylan still on my left knee.

little dylan looked at big dylan curiously – i can’t remember if he gave any indication that he recognized the older child as being him or not, but he reached his tiny hand over and touched his older incarnation on the cheek, placing his index finger on the still-moist tear and left it there for a long time. i was looking at older dylan and the expression on his face – he was looking intently at the baby on my lap, and at that point i looked back over at small dylan myself to see that tears were running down his face. he wasn’t crying, but it seemed as though he had connected with whatever had made dylan upset and was channelling it himself. i was sitting there with both of them on my lap, looking at tears coming down both of their faces, and i started crying myself and pulled them both close to me, hugging them against me….

…and then i woke up.

strange, i know.


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