determination and resolve…or the lack thereof…

last night, the last night of our “tour”, was a kick-ass gig. it was the one that we knew we had in us. diamond dave came out and made it a trio gig, and we sounded great. everyone was on.

and at the end of the night, the proprietor of the brass lantern rewarded us by sending us home with no money.

i take full responsibility – i mean, i booked the date, and i booked it without setting a number, but with the understanding that we weren’t gonna play for nothing, but that we’d talk about a number at the end of the night, based on how many folks came in.

i guess i should have expected this – he’s never struck me as someone who’s in this for any reason but to fill the cash register, but i didn’t think he’d manipulate the deal the way he did.

but what happened afterward was where the lesson lies for me.

we hung around a while, tore down the stage, loaded out, and he didn’t make any offer to give us anything, so after the point at which he would have paid us, charlie and i went over to talk to him about it, and he stated his case about not feeling as though he owed us anything, since we never discussed a number. charlie was a total gentleman about it, stated his case saying that he wasn’t asking for a ton of money, but at least an offering of a few bucks to cover gas and to send the message that he’d be interested in having us back, but it didn’t sway the guy. my personal opinion is that there’s something that comes in either a bottle or a bag that helps this guy run his shop, because his whole demeanor during the conversation seemed to point to that, but that’s beside the point…he smiled waaay too much, and was constantly reaching to shake your hand…things like that. he also spent a great deal of time sitting at the bar. it’s been my experience that savvy club owners/managers never do that. but, like i said, these were all my observations and nothing more.

anyway, charlie was a total pro about it. he left with a smile on his face, and i honestly think that he was able to separate what happened after the gig from what happened during the gig.

me? i can’t.

that pretty much took all the sparkle off what we did onstage, for me. i left with a slight stinging sensation surrounding my anal cavity, because i knew what i said to the guy when we talked about the date, and it wasn’t what he represented to charlie when we talked last night. so i felt that not only did he twist my words around, but he made me look like a dick in front of my boss. so it was a double edged sword. i feel like i should call charlie today and talk to him about it, but i may let that slide until he’s gotten back to nashville…i’ll chase him down then.

the thing is, though, i know that charlie left last night feeling that how we played was a bigger mental factor to him than what happened afterward. and i think that’s why he has a future as a frontman and i don’t. i’ve always had the tendency to let stuff like that totally derail me. something like that, when it would happen to me, would just slaughter my motivation to keep pluggin’, and i’m realizing today, after having to deal with it again last night, that stuff like that was a huge part of why i sidelined myself. i had no means by which to maintain the level of enthusiasm and energy that charlie has. to this day, i don’t know how he does it. but he does it.

which is why he’s still at it, and i’m playing guitar in his band. because he’s got it.

took my new les paul junior/special out for its maiden voyage last night…i’m starting to wonder if i’m ever gonna find the magic p-90 pickup that i’ve been looking for for quite some time now. i know they exist…i’ve heard them. i think i’m gonna have to bite the bullet and buy a set of lindy fralin pickups for my goldtop and see if that’s the genie in the bottle that so many people say they are. i seem to find all the p-90’s that are either too weak or too strong. don’t get it. but i’ll get to the bottom of this eventually.

tomorrow i get to sleep in.


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