another one for the ages…

i have a new mathematical equation that – via extensive research – was proven out this weekend.

(outdoor gigs)+(time of day)x(relative proximity to [rural area]+[body of water])+([temperature]+[time of year])=misery index

i’ve learned, over time, to keep my expectations relatively low when the situation calls for it…and i was already kinda bummed that we were playing over the weekend as a 4 piece, but there were a couple of things that i didn’t take into account that compounded matters somewhat.

first of all, the proprietor – apparently completely swept away in the tide of New Greed Republicanism, decided to not only charge the folks for us when they showed up for the weekend, but again at the gate coming into the stage area.  Naturally, this pissed some people off, so attendance was a fraction of what it was when we were there some years ago.

secondly, i don’t remember the insect quotient being anywhere near what it was this year.  i verged on hallucinating at one point, envisioning giant hordes of bugs flying over from new jersey for the show…they were so thick that i actually played the second set with a towel over my head, a la the 1993 phillies.  i just hope, in retrospect, that i managed to spit out more than i swallowed…i had to scrape them off my guitars after the show.

there was a little girl, possibly 7 or 8, right in front of me for a good portion of the last show, playing air guitar, flailing her little arms in time with the music…we were playing a song in E, and at the point that my guitar solo started, i stepped over the monitors and kneeled down in front of her and handed her my pick and pointed at the strings, still playing the whole time.  i muted the strings with the heel of my right hand and plucked out single note runs as she strummed the guitar feverishly with an amazed look on her face – you could make out the stray rakes across the strings a bit, but mostly all anyone heard was the solo i was squeezing out between her hand and mine with a little extra percussion in it…some of her friends saw what was going on and started to circle around her to watch what was going on as she stood there, beaming, strumming the guitar and apparently pleased with what she perceived as the result of her effort.

after we finished, she came up to me and asked approximately 13,462 questions about guitar – “why is this one different from that one?” “does it hurt your fingers when you play?” “what do those knobs do?”

rapid fire, one right after the other.  i think there’s one more future guitar student in the world this week.

blake came over last night to run through some of the songs from the record, and he told me that i may well have sent the poor kid into therapy – if she thought she was playing the guitar at the show, she’ll get a complex when she tries to do it herself and it doesn’t sound as good…

i guess that just serves to underscore the severe mental distortions that exist in the psyches of musicians…forecasting psychoanalysis and all.

so i’m leaving in the dead of night this evening to go to maine for a wedding over the weekend (through some strange freudian misalignment in my head, every time i try to type that word, it comes out “weeding”) – no gigs for a while.  which is just as well…things in the band are headed toward a shake up at the moment, it seems.  (insert Ratheresque vocal inflection here) “more on this story as it develops….”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s